Mmm British Food (Yes really!)

Okay, England is not exactly known for it's fabulous cuisine, I will admit. English food is generally heavy, meaty and covered in either grease or gravy. It has strange and goofy names like bangers and mash, shepherd's pie and toad in the hole (don't ask). However there are some bright spots, but first
Things not to eat in London:

• Hamburgers- The English are not satisfied with their meat until it has had all flavor and juice thoroughly cooked out of it. I'll cut them a little slack, because of mad cow disease, but it's still a pitiful situation. I've been fantasizing about hamburgers for about a month now; thick and juicy, the way God intended.
  
• Mexican Food- And I promise I've tried. Peas in a quesadilla? Carrots in a burrito? Just no. No no no. With the exception of one fabulous restaurant in Covent Garden the only way to get halfway decent Mexican is to cook it yourself (or in my completly inept case beg Andy to make fajitas for me).

Those two areas aside, cuisine in England isn't completly bleak. Here are a few things any visitor to London should experience:

• The Full English Breakfast- Perfect if you are hungover, or just very, very, very hungry. The full plate usually consists of: Rashers (English Bacon which is AMAZING), sausage, two eggs, fried toast (yes, fried), tomatoes, mushrooms and baked beans (yes, baked beans). Sometimes it also includes, chips (fries), black pudding (blood pudding) or bubble and squeak (simply indescribable). Yes, all on one plate. Yes England is second only to the United States in obesity.
  
• The Cream Tea- The perfect afternoon snack after a long day of sightseeing: a pot of tea accompanied by a fluffy scone. First you cover each half of the scone in delicious clotted cream (regular cream will NOT do), then add jam on top. Sure it might give you a heart attack- but a delicious one!
  
• Curry- Don't even try to argue that this is not British food. The Curry house is an important staple of the local cuisine. Guaranteed to be the best Indian food you can get outside of India.


• Junkfood- From chocolate digestives (Bill Bryson calls them a "British masterpiece"), to flapjacks, to the wide variety of strange and alluring crisp flavors (bacon? lamb and mint? prawn cocktail?). And the candy bars! my favorites are Crunchie Bars, the Cadbury chocolate bars with the creme egg filling and Malteasers, which are kind of like Whoppers but more delicious.